Not that I am even sure more than 3 people casually read this, I must apologize for not updating. A few weeks ago, something deeply personal befell my best friend. It was so tragic and stressful that nothing, not biking or knitting, could help. I felt like I was helpless, I could do nothing for them and that if something this horrific could happen to someone I love so much could happen...Why bother doing anything?
Because both knitting and cycling are so integral to who I am, they both felt disrespectful. How could I possibly do them to take away from the enormity of what had happened? To knit, to ride for pleasure would have allowed me to escape from what had happened and sometimes that is much worse. To be honest, I didn't quite feel like I deserved to do them. And so, I spent my days half here, listless. I cried a lot and, though I would like to say I don't, still cry. I can only imagine what my friend went through and what they are still going through. Time is the greatest healer, I've been told, but there is no timeline, no list of when this or that will be better, or if life will ever feel the same again.
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